This is not book related

Whenever someone (a family or a friend) encourages me of going in an outing, particularly swimming, I’m always like, “mmmm” or “When? I think I don’t have time.” or “Where? Don’t you think that’s a little too far?” or “That would be tiring with all the packing, food preparation and of course the money because I’m on a budget right now so maybe next time?”


In short, I am never excited to go to any outing. In fact, I dreaded it. I always find an excuse not to go. I just think all the effort isn’t worth it because I don’t enjoy going out. I’m the type of person who enjoys staying at home than going outside. I’d rather read a book or lie on my bed and stare at the ceiling daydreaming. Introverts, I know you can relate to this. Right?


I think another reason why I don’t like going in any outing, especially swimming, is because of an incident when I was in my first grade in high school. Our class went on a swimming. We went to a resort in a nearby town. On our way to the resort, everyone was enjoying the field’s scenery through our service bus’ windows, when one of my classmates joked about a cemented rectangular box shape thing that was in the middle of the field. She mentioned about it looking like a coffin. Another classmate of mine told her of not joking like that because it was a bad omen. And then we let it go and nobody talked about it anymore. We got to the resort, and everyone was happily swimming with our own group of friends.


Nobody expected what was about to happen.


When our class adviser told everyone to wash up and get ready to leave, one of my classmates told his friends about going for a last swim since all the shower was occupied with students. His friends told him not to go, but he insisted. So off he went, back to the swimming pool. Alone.


According to his friends, after about a few minutes, when they were taking their shower, the water from all the showers stopped, then came back after a few seconds. All of them suddenly felt nervous for whatever reason but still they continued and finished up.


As my friends and I got fully dressed after our shower, a classmate of ours told us that one of our classmates was unconscious, probably drowned. We rushed from the girl’s room and saw from the other side of the pool our class adviser doing a CPR to a boy lying on the ground. People were milling around witnessing the incident that put a dent in the lives of the teenagers that were supposed to enjoy and get to know each other as first year high school students.   


Everything happened like a blur, the ambulance came, all the students were told to get on our service bus, we rushed to the nearby hospital and waited outside, then the doctor’s announcement that our classmate didn’t make it.


We knew from the back of our minds that he didn’t make it. Nobody’s just brave enough to voice it out.


That news spread out to the entire school, I believe even the entire town. Then there were rumors about our class adviser’s negligence and unnecessary school outing spread too. But that time, we didn’t care about those rumors. We were grieving.  


The parents of our ill-fated classmate didn’t press charges. They even accepted us, the entire class and our class adviser with hospitality at the funeral that that time we felt we didn’t deserve. Yes, we blamed ourselves for what happened but there was no way that we would cower from the rumors and what other people thought of us. Besides they were not in the position to judge us, they weren’t there, we were there, they didn’t know what happened, we knew what happened.


So there, I guess this incident was the root of my being not enthusiastic whenever someone mentions about swimming. I no longer dreaded going for a swim as much as I used to.  


Why did I write this? Haha, because tomorrow my family and a few close relatives are going in an outing. And yes, a swimming outing. Also, in a swimming pool.


Am I scared for tomorrow? Yes, a little bit. Am I excited for tomorrow? Surprisingly, yes, I am. From all the stress I’m having because of my work, an outing is what I think I needed.


Everybody’s moving on, so I need to move on. My worries and fears are still there but sometimes you need to replace the bad memories with good memories. And that’s what I’m aiming for in this outing tomorrow.


Wish me luck!   




#I don’t usually express my feelings like this but the urge to write this down is so strong, I think I would feel better to finally get this out of my chest


#I’m not comfortable opening up to other people but since I’m on anonymous I guess I’m okay sharing this story to you strangers


#Rumor was he wasn’t the first one who got drowned on that resort, that there’s an evil spirit that would pull you down until you drown. Fact was our classmate was a good swimmer


#According to his mom, he was so excited to show us, his classmates, how good he was in swimming


#We remember you Joel